Beauty
by ensiathe3rd
Summary: Things change. People change. Their world has fallen to ruin in more ways than one. They are lost, they are broken, and they are hurt. At the end of the day, all they have are memories of when their world was beautiful and the hope that one day, it might be beautiful once more. Spoilers for the Volume three finale.
1. Rocks

Ruby

A lifetime ago, the most beautiful feeling was the material of her hood as Ruby ran it through her fingers. Smooth and reassuring, it hides her from the things she will never admit to being afraid of. It keeps her secrets, and keeps her hope. The most beautiful sound, was her sister's voice as Yang read to her. Stories of heroes and monsters, where good wins and her sister is always there beside her. The sound brings her peace, as it proves that Yang has not yet given up on her. It meant the world to her. The most beautiful sight was of her own Crescent Rose. It reminds Ruby of all the thinking and planning and hours slaving away forging her, and the pride and joy she felt once she finally finished. Of how all of the hard work putting her together was well worth it. And now she is no longer helpless, she now is a force to be reckoned with.

Now the most beautiful feeling she will ever know is Weiss' hands in her own, death and despair around them, but Ruby found her. She did it once she will do it again. They will always find each other. No matter what. The most beautiful sound she will ever know is Yang calling her name from the battlefield. Her sister hasn't forgotten her, her sister is going to be there and keep her safe. The most beautiful sight is Blake quietly reading a book in their dorm without her bow. The quiet declaration that Blake, a girl who knew nothing but to close herself off, trusted them enough to let them see her fully. Ruby always took little victories when she can get them, and to her, Blake letting them see her ears is the greatest gift she has ever received.

She feels lost, and hurt, very hurt. Ever since she's woken up her head has been hurting like someone was stabbing spikes in her eyes and through her skull. Her aura took care of most of the physical damage while she was sleeping, but her muscles ache all over and she's not sure if it's her ribs or her broken heart that is causing the pain in her chest. A part of her hopes it's the former, broken ribs she can handle, she can fix. Everything just feels so unfixable right now. She wants to believe that everything happens for a reason, but she's having trouble figuring out the reason for all of this. So much pain and destruction, and for what?

As far as she can tell, nothing good.

She just meanders around the house most of the time. She wants to visit her mother's grave, but for whatever comfort it might bring her, it just is a bad idea. While she holds all of her negative emotions close to her chest, the beowulfs will no doubt smell it on her. And with everything that happened, a lot of beowulfs will come. Any other time she might be thrilled at the thought of a fight. Heck, she's done it before. But now, she understands that she won't stand a chance. She's just hurts too much. And she doesn't want to die, not now. Not after they have lost so much, she can't do that to them. She doesn't fear death, but there is still a fight to be had, and she isn't going to go down now.

She probably should be resting. But to be fair, it's not like she's running or exercising. She just spends her days at her desk, running through book after book, map after map, taking note after note, putting off the nightmares as long as she can, and trying to keep her focus away from the reality she's living in. She can pretend she doesn't hurt, she's actually had more practice with it than people can believe. But the only way this is possible is if she keeps moving forward. She needs a problem to solve, she needs something to fix, she needs stay looking ahead. Because if she looks back for more than half a second, she will lose whatever composer she has.

Her partner is gone, her sister is depressed, her friend is AWOL, people are dead, her school is destroyed, and she is supposedly this really powerful warrior from the story books. Ruby is not okay. She is coping. Poorly, true, but at least she's being productive. She has a goal in mind, and she is going to accomplish it. Figure out what the bad guys are up to, and put a stop to it. Simple clear cut, but enough of a challenge to keep her thoughts away from darker things. And when she is finished with this project, she'll take on another, and another, and another until something forces her to stop. And really with Weiss in Atlas, Blake somewhere in the wild, and Yang refusing to even look at her, who can stop her?

She's good at running, it's hardwired into her as much as breathing is. And she won't deny that she is running now. From her problems, from the truth, it's all just so easy. Keep running, and nothing can hurt her. They gave her a reason to stop. They gave her a safe place to come back to. With them she didn't have to run because she knows they won't push her away or let her go. They were her rock, but now that rock is crumpled and scattered into the four winds, and she's just not coordinated enough to catch all of the pieces before they fly out of her reach. She can't say how much her failure hurts, because if she does, she'll be letting go of a secret that she has held close for so long.

She has to keep moving forward, Qrow said as much, and strange as he might be, he has a penitent for being right. That doesn't stop her from wishing that someone would stop her. She's playing a dangerous game, but she can't stop. She needs them to stop her. She wants Yang to say it's too dangerous, she wants Weiss to call her an idiot, she wants Blake to tell her to think this through. But none of them are going to stop her. Not this time.

Her world is red. It always has been, but once long ago, red was passion, red was power, red was love. Now all it is, is death, pain, and despair. It all feels so wrong. She hasn't felt this disgusted in a long while, she hasn't felt this alone. The red used to be a place of safety, now it's a constant reminder of everything that has happened. Her world tears between being silent with despair and deafening with the sounds that she can never unhear ringing in her ears. The sound of slicing metal as is Penny cut to pieces, Pyrrha choking on air with an arrow through her chest, Torchwick telling her to die.

She goes to Yang to try and replace the sounds ringing in her ears, but Yang remains silent. No matter how much she begs for her sister to come back to her, all she is rewarded with is Yang yelling at her to leave. The pain doesn't stop, and every time she goes, Yang seems further and further from her, and it doesn't matter how fast Ruby can run, she can't seem to catch up to wherever Yang goes in her long ventures of silent staring out of the window. No declaration of love will entice a response in kind. And after everything, she needs to hear it. She needs to hear that she hasn't lost her sister too.

For all the response she gets, she might as well have. And all she has is her father telling her that Yang is too strong to let something like this stop her forever. But Ruby doesn't know how to help, and she wants to help. She wants to do something for the one constant in her life. The one person who always believed in her no matter what. She wants to do _something._ But Yang makes it clear day by day that she wants nothing to do with Ruby. And as such, any healing Yang needs to do, Ruby is just getting in the way.

She thinks about Weiss from time to time. Is she okay? Is she thinking about her, missing her too? She sends a letter Weiss' way, but when or if the letter arrives is anyone's guess. Without the CCT, all communication has to go the long way, and patience has never been one of Ruby's strong suits. She has Weiss and Blake for that. She _had,_ at least. She's not sure anymore. Right now, all of her questions go largely unanswered. She wants them, but she has no clue as to whether or not they want her. She's only getting bits and pieces of the story, and honestly it eats at her. This is why she loves weapons more than people. Weapons don't change, they can be fixed when broken, they can be replaced. Easy. People are anything but.

Weiss promised to be the best teammate possible, Blake promised that when things went bad she'd come to them, Yang promised to love her forever. Now, Weiss is so far from her side, Blake turned tail and ran when things are at their worst, and Yang doesn't love her anymore. Serves her right really, promises are useless things and she should know better than to take much stock in them. Her mother made them, her father made them, her old friends made them. It all ends the same. And it hurts, a lot.

She worries a lot. Are they warm? Are they eating okay? Are they safe? She has more faith in Weiss than in Blake. As the last time, Ruby saw Blake, the older girl was sobbing and begging forgiveness from Yang. And Ruby knows Blake, maybe not entirely, but she understands in a way that Weiss and Yang don't. She knows what it's like for every fiber in her being to scream at her to run. She knows how hard it is to stay for the fallout. She knows what it's like to give into the temptation. She knows what it's like to fear what she will return to. But she also knows the desperate longing to come back regardless. Blake will be back, it's really only a matter of time. They will hug, and Blake will apologize proper to Yang. They may shout, they may cry, but when that day is up, they'll be a family again. She'll have her rock back. One day.

Their father tries, but he seems so afraid of hurting her he won't touch her. A hug, a hand on the shoulder, none of it. He also won't talk about what happened that night. Fair is fair, she doesn't want to talk about it, not with him anyway. He makes tea whenever he gets worried about her or Yang, and suffice to say, she's had enough tea to last her a life time. He'll just give her this sad look and start brewing. A part of her wishes that they could go back to when she and Yang were kids and he would lift them onto his shoulders and they would all laugh, back when they were happy. But she knows it's impossible, too much has happened, and there is no going back. She just wishes he will hold her and tell her everything is going to be alright, and lie or not she wishes that she can believe him. She loves him, she does, but he's not who she needs right now.

Jaune surprisingly enough is really her only saving grace. His letters keep her going, and together they plan to keep fighting for the ones they love, for the loved ones they lost. It strikes her that they will either help each other toward salvation or will drag each other down a path of mutually assured destruction. It strikes her how little she cares, and how willing she is to toss that coin into the air and not watch it land. She now has a purpose and someone to share that purpose with. It is liberating. Keep running and no harm will come.

She's not doing any good here. She writes Yang a letter letting her know everything that she plans. Ruby owes her sister that much. If her sister chooses to read it, well, that's up to Yang. If she doesn't, then Ruby will know for certain that she lost her sister. She writes ghost letters to Blake and Weiss, just in case. She hopes to see them again. Maybe after she leaves, they'll realize that they still love her and still want to be a family and they will come for her. They will hold her, they will either stop her or help her, but as long as they're together, Ruby doesn't much care what they ask of her. To see her family whole again, her rock standing once more. She'd give them forever if she can. The three people that she loves more than anything else on Remnant, coming for her because they love her too. She just hopes they are fast enough to catch her.

And maybe her world can become beautiful again.

 **AN: there you have it, I have three more in the works and I will get them out as soon as possible. Please leave a review and let me know what you think. Ensia.**


	2. Warmth

Weiss

Before this year, the most beautiful thing Weiss has ever seen is the CCT in Atlas. Standing strong and proud against the landscape, a symbol of power and prestige of a nation. There isn't a way to look at it and not look up to the sky, not look to the future. The most beautiful thing she has ever heard is the roar of applause and cheering that comes after a performance, especially a performance she put on. The sound of unity and joy, of pride and admiration toward a job well done. The most beautiful feeling she has ever known is her father's hand on her shoulder letting her know he is proud of her. The feeling of unending joy at the knowledge that she finally has done something right and earned his love and pride. Back then she believes that nothing in the world can ever come close.

Now, the most beautiful sight is the back of Yang's hair as the taller girl stands protective in front of her. For a girl who grew up being told to protect herself because no one else would, having someone who wants to do it regardless of whether or not she needs it, it means a lot. It's touching, humbling, that she was found worthy to be under that girl's protection. The most beautiful sound is comes in the form of Blake's quiet honesty. It helps her keep things in perspective as the girl never let her deny the truth of what her family is responsible for. But Blake always tells her that she can change things and for her friend, she wants to do everything in her power to do just that. The most beautiful feeling is Ruby leaning on her. Unabashed and unbounded affection that she never can earn, but is given freely by a girl who loves without question and without prejudice. Feeling so loved, not because of who she is or who her family is, but because Ruby sees her as someone worthy of love. It makes her want to be the person that Ruby sees.

The sight of Ruby unconscious in her uncle's arms will forever haunt her. Impossibly pale and unbelievably small, for a moment Weiss would have sworn the girl was dead. She promised to be the best teammate possible, but some teammate she turned out to be. One teammate stabbed, one maimed, one in a coma. All three suffering from more scars that no one would ever see. And she gets out with a few minor injuries and exhaustion. Pathetic really. Where was she? When they needed her, when she could have done _something_ to stop this, where was she? Huffing and puffing because she can't handle a few glyphs. Her teammates were shattering around her and she couldn't do anything to stop it.

The sight of Ruby unconscious in her uncle's arms will forever haunt her. Impossibly pale and unbelievably small, for a moment Weiss would have sworn the girl was dead. She promised to be the best teammate possible, but some teammate she turned out to be. One teammate stabbed, one maimed, one in a coma. All three suffering from more scars that no one would ever see. And she gets out with a few minor injuries and exhaustion. Pathetic really. Where was she? When they needed her, when she could have done _something_ to stop this, where was she? Huffing and puffing because she can't handle a few glyphs. Her teammates were shattering around her and she couldn't do anything to stop it.

She hates herself most days. Who wouldn't? She sees the scattered remains of team JNPR wail and cry at Pyrrha's loss. She sees Yang shut down at the loss of both her right hands. She sees the world panic and fall apart at the seams. She sees her school, her home, over run, desecrated. She sees everyone suffer around her, but she doesn't suffer with them. She hates herself because when she thinks about the night that took so much from them, all she can feel is relief. The world falling apart, and she's happy. After everything that was lost, fate didn't take Ruby from her. And that thought alone brings her hope, makes her want to cry with joy, the world could fall apart crumble and die, and Weiss doesn't think she would care. As long as Ruby lives another day, nothing else matters. It may not be proper, but to hell with proper. Ruby is the first person to honestly and wholeheartedly be her friend. But then she remembers what Ruby will feel when she awakes. And it's all she can do not to care about the consequences that night will bring upon her partner, and be fully and truly glad that at the very least she still breathes.

She worries. After days of barely leaving her partner's bedside, her father comes and takes her away. At the very least, there is not one soul in Remnant who can honestly say she went quietly. With the CCT out of commission, it might be weeks before she hears about Ruby. Thoughts eat at her, perhaps irrationally, of Ruby waking up without her and needing her but she is all the way in Atlas too far out of reach. If Ruby wakes up, Weiss won't know about it for quite some time, if Ruby doesn't… Weiss won't know about that either. Not for a while. She tries to take reassurance in Ruby's uncle's declaration that her friend would be fine. It doesn't really work.

When she left, Yang was far from okay. The usually boisterous brawler took on a silent vigil of the world around her. Weiss can't be sure where the final blow came from, her arm, her partner, her sister, maybe a combination of all three did just too much damage. Whatever hole Yang fell into, Weiss couldn't pull her out of it. She understands, she and Yang aren't as close as they are with their other teammates. Still, it hurts that she couldn't do anything for her friend. Not alone.

And she was alone. She supposes she's mad at Blake, but she's more disappointed than anything. The girl did make a promise after all. That was the condition they settled on, that she would come to them. Weiss doesn't understand why or even how Blake could have left Yang's side. Not when for Weiss being away from Ruby's side physically hurt her. She knows it's different in a lot of ways, but she doesn't understand. All she really understands is that Bake has some explaining to do when she gets back from her quest of self-discovery. Blake broke a lot of things on her way out, and Weiss hopes they can still be fixed, but she knows more than anything that healing from this won't come easy.

Everything is colder than she remembers. Grand pieces of architecture that she knows by heart, and once made her marvel at their ingenuity and beauty, they now seem so cold, unfeeling, lonely. The walls hold secret horrors and lies, the ceilings are supported by injustice and money, the floors have blood on them. She doesn't know how she missed it before, but now that she knows, she can't unsee it. It burns cold in her eyes and in her heart, and it makes her sick to her stomach.

She's not sure when Atlas stopped being her home, but the more she thinks on it Weiss realizes that perhaps it never was. The building she grew up in is just a monument to everything she seeks to change, and a reminder of just how many sins she will have to pay for before she is done. She was a fool to think she ever stood a chance of doing it alone. But now she is alone, separated from her real family by countless miles and damning scars. She misses their warmth, because here she is so cold. It settles in her chest and refuses her any peace. She wonders if she will ever be warm again.

Probably not. At least, not in the near future. She won't get very far with her father's guards watching her like hawks. But she needs them, and at some point she hopes they need her. They make her a better person. Make her want to be a better person, still. No matter what it takes she will get back to them. Ruby will wake up, and together they will pull Yang out of her slump, and the three of them will find their runaway teammate, and she will yell at Blake for not keeping her promise. They will all make up and hold each other, and cry a bit, and then they will be a team again. They will be family again. The world will stop being so cold. One day.

Surrounded by wealth and material possessions, Weiss knows without a doubt that she will give it all up, if only to have her friends happy and healthy. All of these things feel so worthless when she thinks about her friends. Yang proud and strong, unstoppable, protective, openly loving. Blake quiet, self-sacrificing, dedicated, honorable, loyal, honest. Ruby joyful, loving, forgiving, pure, brilliant, radiant. All skilled, all wonderful beyond all telling, and all love her. As long as she breaths, she will do everything in her power to keep their warmth from turning cold. Because in this world if they ever turn cold, she will never again know warmth.

Every time she sees her father, he glowers down at her. Not even six months ago, she might have done anything to make sure that didn't happen. She doesn't care anymore. He took her from her home, and is now holding her prisoner in a building built on the backs of lies, and abuse, and degradation. He never was much of a father anyway. She feels no guilt, no regard, no hesitation in hating him. She makes it no secret, and she doesn't care what he does in retaliation. What really is the worst he can do? Disown her? If he ever tells her to leave, she will shout for joy and find the first transport she can back to Vale, to Patch, to Ruby and Yang, to her home, her family. If he keeps her here, then it would be the same if she plays good little daughter. What is the point of pretending anymore? She doesn't want his love, her teammates are more than enough. She doesn't want his money, she can find her own way. She doesn't want his name, he's run it through the mud too much for her to find any pride in it.

Her sister sends her conspiratory smirks on the few visits she's had. Winter is on her side, and that means the world to Weiss. It is really the only silver lining in being forced to come back to Atlas. The first visit, Winter even rushed to take Weiss in her arms. Winter had hugged her before this, and while there was always care, it always felt distant and it was never in front of anyone. As it stands, it was the first show of open physical affection that her sister ever gave to her. It never bothered her before she saw how Yang and Ruby would rush into each other arms without hesitation, open affection as they would hold each other like nothing else in the world mattered. All the times they would fall asleep in each other's arms and not care who saw. And since she knows that she can never ask her father, when Winter asks if Weiss needs anything, Weiss has only one request. She can figure out the rest as she goes. But as she lives and breathes, Yang will hold Ruby in her arms again. And she's not going to lie, Winter's look of pride as she explains, makes her smile.

Now all there really is to do is wait. Wait for the right moment to make her flight. She spends most of her days training, or curls up with a book on dust, or fencing, or Grimm in front of one of the wall sized windows facing south. Sometimes she looks out and knows that somewhere in the distance, her team is out there. And one day soon, she will join them.

And maybe they can bring the beauty back.

 **AN: And that is chapter two, hope you enjoyed it. Thank you to all who reviewed chapter one. Please keep them coming, and let me know what you think of this chapter.** **Ensia**


	3. Light

Blake

Once upon a time, the most beautiful sound Blake had ever heard was the peaceful melody sung unending in Forever Falls. The chirping of birds, the whistle of wind through leaves, an old stream running to bigger waters. The most beautiful sight was the ocean from the eastern docks of vale. The explosion of color at sunrise, the moment where water and sky met in perfect harmony, the light pushing away the darkness. And the most beautiful feeling was a warm blanket wrapped around her shoulders and a cup of hot chocolate in her hands. The warmth seeping into her skin, healing, and safe.

If someone is to ask her now. The most beautiful sound is Ruby's laugh, pure and innocent and infectious in the joy it brings. The world can be falling apart, but if Ruby laughs, then there is nothing to fear. The most beautiful sight is the glow of Weiss' glyphs. Radiant and perfect, they let her know that she isn't alone. That someone has her back, and isn't about to turn it on her. The most beautiful feeling is the sensation of being wrapped in Yang's embrace. Strong, safe, and warm, she will never come to harm whilst Yang holds her.

She will never have that again. Can't. Not while Adam breathes. He already took away Yang's embrace, it would be forever changed, forever broken. If he were to take Ruby's laugh or Weiss' glyphs… The very thought makes her sick to her stomach and her side flare up in pain. Adam knows how much she cares about Yang. And if he could strike her, the strongest of them, down, then how are any of them safe? Visions of her teammates, lying dead and dismembered around her, blood staining their skin and agony that was the last they knew carved into their faces, their last screams ringing in her ears, and her alive, so she can live with the guilt of letting them get to close. Their only crime was loving her, they shouldn't have to pay for her sins.

She left because Adam is still out there and as long as he is, the people she loves are in danger. He was right, she is a coward. Running is all she ever was competent at. She did it with no regard with the havoc she left behind. Of course there would be consequences for her transgressions. She was a fool to think she could get away free and clear. There will be a price for her foolishness, and it is all she can do to hope that he will come after her and leave her family alone.

A perpetual darkness takes over Blake's world, and for someone who thrived in the shadows and anonymity, she misses the light that her teammates shined around her. When they are together, everything is bright. She had forgotten just how dark the world can be. Their absence makes her world dark again, and it takes everything within her not to run to back to them begging forgiveness. If only to see again, to not be blind. She can't risk it. So she lives with the little news she can grab in secret. When they were in the safe haven in the city, she could keep a slight eye on them from a distance. But now, Weiss had been taken home, as have Ruby and Yang. Weiss the best off out of all of them, however little those words meant, Yang recovering physically as well as can be expected, and from what Blake understands, Ruby is in a coma.

Blake feels a pang in her heart at the thought of the sisters, there is no way to find out if or when Ruby wakes up, or if she is even okay, not without getting too close, not that the girls are back in Patch. Though before Weiss left for Atlas, Blake had been close enough to hear the girl's wails that she wasn't leaving her friends, more specifically Ruby. The heartbreak in the white haired girl's protests told Blake all she really ever wanted to know. Blake wonders if it might be for the best, to let the little girl sleep away the horror of the past few days. Between Penny, and Pyrrha, and Yang, and this whole debacle, it will be a miracle if Ruby is ever the same girl again. Blake wishes her well, but she can't find it in her to pray that the girl wake up only to find her world crumpled and broken. Still, if she dies, a shame feels like such an understatement, a tragedy no doubt left unknown to most of the people of Remnant. A loss that most will never miss. Except those who knew her. Those who knew the wide eyed innocent with a strange obsession with deadly weapons, they will suffer the loss of the best of them.

And Yang. Yang will die. There are no ifs but only whens. Yang, so strong, so sure, she was taken and beaten and broken that night, and Blake knows she is the cause of all of it. One more blow could destroy her partner, and so Blake hoped and prayed such agony will never come to the girl who Blake owes her life so many times over. She can only hope that Ruby will awaken and do what Blake cannot and save Yang. Blake prays that the sisters will pull each other through this. She prays that after everything, their bond remains. But their fates, Blake may never know. And so she cries for the sisters, for all their pain, and for all that has been lost.

In her waking hours, her thoughts and worries torment her. The Grimm are drawn to her misery, and honestly, she welcomes any opportunity to stop thinking and just fight. Even physical wounds don't really bother her when compared to the aching in her heart that told her to go home, but at the same time reminds her of what will happen should she ever give in to the temptation. Home is Yang, Weiss, and Ruby, and Adam will burn it before Blake's very eyes if she gives him half a chance. So she lives with the pain of being split in two, knowing that nothing could compare to the pain should Adam get his hands on any one of them. If their light is ever snuffed out, the darkness will take her body, mind and soul. So she won't let that happen. And just maybe, if she suffers enough here and now, she can make up for a part of the things she had done. Maybe when all the cards are on the table and she is ready to leave the game, she'll see Yang again in the next world. A childish hope, perhaps, but at this point it truly is her only source of comfort.

In her sleeping hours, what little she can find, her dreams torture her. Memories play out in the most twisted and gruesome manner. Ideas that she can never bring herself to explore in her waking hours, present themselves to her eyes, and once they are there they will never go away. Faces of those she loves, crying and angry shouting news of her other friends' savage deaths, never the same, sometimes completely irrational, but every now and then one or two that she can swear are real. It doesn't help when she wakes, there is no way to prove them wrong. Agony is an understatement, but after everything, what has she ever done to deserve peace?

More often than she cares to admit, she sits staring at Gambol Shroud and wonders if she shouldn't just ensure that Adam will never go after her family. After all, he did say this is all to punish her for her crimes. What would be the point of punishing a dead woman? With her gone, there is no need for him to attack the people she loves, he already has his revenge. A coward getting a coward's death. Adam always did have a thing for poetic justice. But she finds that she can't do it, not because she doesn't want to die, not because she doesn't want to protect her family, but she thinks of them, Penny and Pyrrha dying on the battlefield, fighting to the very end. She won't disgrace their memories like that. She may not be a hero, but she is going to fight like one, and if fate is willing, she will die like one. She will die fighting to her last breath against all odds, not by her own blade in some run down building she is squatting in.

The frigid air is both a blessing and a curse. If anything, it keeps her alert through many sleepless nights, even if she is shaking the entire time. The cold reminds her of Weiss. The smaller girl has grown so much since Blake met her last spring. And though Blake knows how little it meant, she is proud of the girl. One day, she will make a fantastic huntress, and change her family's legacy to something worthwhile. Blake knows it, and she can't wait to see it happen. If fate is ever that kind. It is really the only good type of dream she has. Of one day, when all of this mess is cleaned up, Weiss becoming the huntress she always wants to be, some good in all the bad. She has the best chance out of all of them. Though some days she imagines Ruby by her side, red and white working in perfect tangent, an unstoppable pair those two, both happy and healthy and doing what they always dreamed they do. If anyone deserves it, they do.

Once upon a time, she imagined herself and Yang with them. A team of four, RWBY, full and complete. Heroes taking down monsters and saving people, changing the world for the better. It all feels so childish now, to want what she knows she could never have. Huntresses are people of honor, Blake is nothing of the sort. And no amount of tears, or hard work, or want, or Grimm kills, or lives saved, will ever change that. Blake just has to force herself to accept it. Hope is the only thing that stops her from fully believing it. That feeling of maybe one day. But one day is too far away for Blake to ever see in this darkness, much less grasp. It isn't hers to have. Maybe one day.

But for now, Blake moves, fights, keeps living, keeps saving. Because in her life of helplessness, this is all she can do. She can't save the people she loves. But every Grimm she slays brings her closer to being ready to take Adam down. And whether it took months or years she will defeat him or die trying. And when she does, she will run. Back to them, to her home, her family, the only place where she ever felt like she was worth something, her light. She will beg their forgiveness. She will not begrudge their refusal, but she hopes of a future where they can fix what she has broken. And if they will have her, they can make up for lost time. And as long as she breathes, she'll never leave them again.

Because her world is only beautiful when they are in it.


	4. Healing

Yang

Yang used to say that the most beautiful thing she ever felt was the power flowing through her veins as her semblance activated. A roaring flame, unstoppable, and able to protect everything she loved. She would say that the most beautiful thing she had ever seen was Ruby smiling after a long day. Something so simple yet so massive, it reminded her of why she fought, why against all odds she would continue to fight. And if you could get her to admit it, the most beautiful sound was of a freshly tuned piano being played with all of the emotion its player had to offer. Big, fierce, loud, and grand turned into soft, loving, and gentle at the drop of a hat. Emotion guided the way, love, sadness, anger all gave their part, and there was perfection and wholeness in that.

Now the most beautiful feeling she knew was Blake's Gambol shroud in her hand as they did a combo attack. Bumbleby. Blake grounding her as the combined forces of both their strengths came together. When she is reminded that she was strong in her own right, but together they are so much stronger. The most beautiful sight will forever remain, Ruby leading them as naturally as she breathes. Ruby standing in front of the line, ready and willing to fight, to do what she'd always dreamed of doing, protecting people. The sight made her prouder than she believed anyone was capable of being, but it also made her sad. How long before Ruby realized that she didn't need Yang anymore? But there was still beauty in how sad it was, the bittersweet portrait that nothing else can compare. The most beautiful sound was of Weiss' singing. And who could blame her? Weiss never shows much emotion beyond anger normally. But when she sings, she sings her heart out, and Yang can see the person that is hidden behind all of that anger and insecurity. It was open, honest, and heartbreaking. And still beautiful, so beautiful. Yang used to long for the day when Weiss would sing a happier tune and once set it as a personal mission. It never happened. It probably never will.

At first, Yang supposes she should be angry. She's not. Sad crosses her mind, but she's not that either. Relieved to be alive? Ecstatic her sister is okay? Bitter? Bargaining? Guilt? Hopeful? Anxious? Afraid? Ashamed? Shocked? Horrified? Maybe she should be. But she's not. She just is. What's left of her, anyway. She's alive, breathing, eating, but there is this disconnect. Because it doesn't matter how many times people say they're glad she's alive, what's the point if she's not living? And she can't bring herself to live, she can't even bring herself to feel. Her world and reality are separated by a thick curtain, and she can pull it back if she so desires. But she doesn't see the point, can't.

In the course of one night, the world she knew ended, and the one she woke up to is strange and cruel. And she has to pick up the pieces alone, because her sister hasn't yet awoken to this new world, one friend was taken from her, and the other willingly left her behind. A few weeks ago, she might have been able to do it alone. But now she isn't even half as effective, and there are so many pieces, she can't bring herself to start.

She's so tired all of the time, but too tired to sleep. What she understands as reality is nightmare enough. Why bother inviting more? Time moves slower than she remembers, and every second of her personal entrapment stretches on into eternity. Nothing will ever end. At first, she was with Ruby in their room. But she couldn't bear to look at her sister and see another example of how she failed. And wanting to make sure that her sister was in a safe place when she awoke. Yang asks to be moved to the guest room. It's really all she can do now. And the effort it took to force out some semblance of caring, it left her drained.

Blake left, after everything, Blake just left. And Yang doesn't care. But she wants to, she wants to feel the cold sting of abandonment, she wants to be able to hate Blake, she wants to long for her. But she doesn't. She just feels empty, helpless, and weak. She lost much more than an arm that night. She lost her fight, she lost her sense of self, and she lost her friend. And for someone who used to pride herself on her strength, she just doesn't have the strength to do this on her own. She doesn't have the strength want to be fixed.

Weiss is gone. After everything her sister's partner has done, of all the progress made, it's all for nothing. Her father will try to break her again. And if that happens, then what on earth can possibly put her back together? Shame really, the girl was going places. But who knows? Yang heard her screams when her father came to take her away. Maybe Weiss will prove stronger than Yang thinks and come back, and protect Ruby in the way that she can't anymore. It doesn't really matter anyway, she's too far away to do anything anyway.

When Ruby wakes, Yang knows she should be happy. Her little sister, her reason, her life is going to be okay. No thanks to her. She should be happy, but she's not, she just feels hollow. Ruby deserves so much better than the hand she was dealt. So much better than her. Ruby manages to pull out a feeling from her. It is brief, but it is there. But it isn't love or happiness or joy, it is anger. Her sister is lost and Yang reacts in anger. How much further can she fall? She doesn't deserve Ruby, doesn't deserve her love or affection. One day Ruby will realize this and on that day Yang will stop holding her back.

The color is gone, the nothing creeps upon her and won't let her lie. She can't protect, she can't pretend. Numbness holds her away from getting up. She can't find it in her to push forward to heal. They gave her a reason to stop thinking with her fists and with her hands instead. To want to heal, before she hurt. She's forgotten what it is to do either. She is caught somewhere between, balanced on the edge and at this point she doesn't care which way she falls. Either way, at the very least, she'll feel something.

Ruby tries, and Yang wants the look on her sister's face and the broken sound of her voice to break her heart. She wants it to cause her untold agony. She wants to tell Ruby that she loves her too, but the words catch in her throat and she chokes on them. She wants to feel terrible for pushing her sister away. But nothing is all she knows. It clouds her thoughts and stops her from getting up and running to Ruby. It stops her from doing anything really.

Anything except staring forlornly out the window.

The trees outside are slowly dying. The world turning dark and cold. She was pretty sure it can be a metaphor, but she doesn't care. She wants to see her sister smile again, more than anything. But her sister's smiles waver at the best of times and fade out before Ruby leaves. Yang knows it's not entirely her fault, but she's certainly not helping. Maybe she doesn't want to. After everything, the idea that someone can possibly be happy is strange and leaves her dizzy and sick to her stomach. Still, her sister looks wrong without her smile. But then again, everything feels twisted and warped at least a little bit.

Ruby tells her that she's been talking with Jaune, about how they're going to finish this. Three weeks prior, she might have stopped her sister, or else she might have joined her. But it isn't like she will be much more than a hindrance to her baby sister. And really, as much as she tries to care that Ruby pretty much wants to go back into danger and risk her life, Yang can't find it in her. It just leaves her tired. She doesn't have any fight left in her.

She doesn't know what she's going to do. All she's ever known is the fight. Taking damage and dishing it back out. Cause as much damage as possible. All she ever could have been good for was hurting. It was all she could do to try and augment as much damage as possible. Make up for all the hurt she caused in her life by healing all that she could. She tried to heal them. It is much more than keeping safe, protecting, all that can be done without hesitation. But there are wounds they have, and all she ever wanted was to make them better.

She can't do anything now. They are scattered from each other, thrust into their own versions of Hell, and she can't save them. She can't even save herself. She wishes she could be angry. She wishes that something will make her get up and back on her feet. But even Ruby's flight changes nothing. The thought of her little sister fighting for her life against impossible odds, hurt and alone, and the last thing Ruby knows of Yang is a broken shell that wouldn't return her love. Of Weiss, alone, trapped in a place that she tried so hard to break free from. Of that the last time she may ever see Blake is when she was bleeding out from a stab wound to the abdomen while a monster stands over her. Thoughts of the past, of the future that make no impact on her. But they make her tired.

She wonders if anything will ever be okay again. If she can fix herself, and get back on her feet. Or are some things once broken, broken forever. She might have believed it a while back. But now? Yang isn't sure of anything right now. And any kind of deep thinking just feels pointless. If only she could feel. The days of happiness are so far away, the days when everything was okay are long gone, they left her behind just like everyone else. The future is too dark to see, not that Yang really cares to make the effort. All of her dreams, all her plans, they lay shattered with her. What's the point of looking ahead just to see more of the nothing that awaits her? There might be more, but Yang doesn't think she could find it. Maybe one day, but maybe not. Who knows?

Some days she looks at the floor, and imagines getting out of bed and hunting down her scattered team, finding them and making sure they're okay. Not even a three months ago, she wouldn't have hesitated. Now, she can't even hate herself for turning away from the floor back to the window. She can't fear for their safety, or long for their return. Growing up, she always told Ruby that she'll only fail once she's given up. And Yang has failed.

Maybe she'll sleep for a while, let the memories come back. Maybe when she wakes, she'll be able to feel again, maybe her family will come back to her, maybe they'll be okay.

Maybe she'll know beauty again.


End file.
